I Cannot Apologize

There is a giant gap between my big toe and the one next to it.

And I’m not sorry for it at all.

My hips and thighs are wide and curvy, and if I was 5’10” they would fit the approximated womanly perfection...but I’m 4’11”.
And I have no intention of apologizing for it.

I don’t have perfect, straight teeth, and my nose is a little pointy, and my head is sort of small. My hair is wild, curly, and hard to tame, and I get a zit or two (or more…) on the back of my shoulders when I sweat a lot. I have love handles that love my figure too much to let go, and my shoulders are so puny they can fit into children’s clothing. My voice isn’t high, feminine, and cute, and when I don’t smile I look like I could murder someone. My laugh isn’t something I get compliments on, and my rear end was the ultimate inspiration for Queen’s “Fat Bottom Girls”.

And I’m not sorry for any of it.

I don’t wear stilettos, and I stay away from pink lipstick, but I’m just as pink as the rest of them.

I don’t like diamonds, and I don’t like white, but I’m just as marriageable as the rest of them.

I don’t wear skinny jeans, mini skirts, or knee high boots, but I’m just as sexy as the rest of them.

My age is starting to show, and I’m not sorry for it.

I defy all rules that imply and encourage anyone (man or woman) to be something they’re not just to impress the opposite sex. I defy all rules that try to govern a shallow society of frivolity, of expected intense unattainable fantasies, and of outrageously, unjustified expectations of human beings.

I defy anyone who tells me whether by word or by judgmental glance that I am not good enough to be with someone who is as equally amazing as I am.

I am stout hearted, honest, and unforgettable.

I am intelligent, powerful, and unique.

I am desirable, maternal, and generous.

I am talented, evolved, and head strong. I am stubborn, proud, and temperamental. I am messy, quiet, and passionate. I am funny, obvious, and blunt.

I tame pigs and gents and fools, but I can’t tame myself.
I harass the bullies, but often bully myself.
I throw things when I’m angry, but I’m soft as a lamb.
I have a long list of bizarre phobias, but I’m generally fearless.
I’m a walking contradiction. I am a woman. I am human.
I am amazing, and I deserve amazing.

And I am not sorry for it. Love me or don’t. Want me or not. I am what I am, and I make no apologies.