Breeding the Non-Sexist, Respectable Man

I have carefully reviewed my observations (twenty some years of research), and have come to the conclusion that the absolute non-sexist, respectable man is so incredibly rare that we ought to start picketing for the survival of their extinction.
But here's the funny thing:
they're not really on the verge of extinction, but rather on the rise of coming into existence. It's not like there used to be millions of non-sexist,respectable men in the country and now they're dying out due to an alarming growth rate of manhood aliances and wars. No. They're actually beginning to emerge, and I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe, with the power of the written word I might be able to assist the reproduction.

I'm not quite sure who to address, to be perfectly honest. The men, or the women? Who shall I call to rise? Many of you reading this will find it ridiculous that I'm even considering any kind of "ralley" at all. Believe me, a few years ago, and all growing up, I never thought that my future would still have women having to demand respect. But it does. And I've finally decided to actually do something about it.

Growing up with three brothers I learned a few basic things that they themselves have told me point blank about men. 1)Men only think with their penis. 2)A man will say anything he needs to, to get a girl, so never believe a thing he says. 3)Men think about sex 24/7.

I know my brothers were only trying to protect me, but that's where my confusion came in. I mean, if this was all true then why the hell are women even attracted to men at all? I'm sorry, but if all men's brains are in their pants... it sort of makes them out to be monkeys. Right? And if he never tells a woman the truth...well, why would I want to pro-create with a liar? And if sex is all they think about 24/7, well, that just stirs up some sypathy, right? Poor guys! Thinking about it all the time! How cruel!

Something isn't adding up.

Expectations. If you expect a monkey, then what more can you ask for? If he only thinks with his penis, well, then a woman needs to just deal with that. If you expect him to always lie, well, then a woman needs to just always be on her guard. She's been warned. If he thinks about sex 24/7, well, then, his needs suddenly become more important to fulfill than ours. This is the way men are. "Don't expect anything more out of us."

I'm fully aware that my brothers were only trying to keep me from having fairy tale like ideas about men, but instead it made me realize that this is what most men want us to think of them so that we don't expect anything more from them. I'm sorry, Ladies, but even if it means me being unmarried till the end of time, I'm waiting for that prince I deserve. I'm not expecting perfection. I'm not expecting literal royalty (let's just be clear about things for those who like to misconstrue words...). But I am going to be raising that bar a few notches higher than "brain-in-the-pants". I am going to be expecting the truth. I am going to be expecting that my own needs get met, too.

I’ve addressed it a few times in my life, but have never really, really realized how openly I've had to battle sexism. Looking back, I remember all the times in my life that I was regarded as “silly” or "emotionally unstable" or told that I was "overreacting" when I was doing nothing more than sticking up for myself. Or, how about the times when my ideas were always ignored until a man (after long, unnecessary debate) had the same idea (stealing it from me), and suddenly POOF! My (stolen) idea was magically heard, and then used. Or how I’ve had to work double hard to get the respect I deserve for my cleverness, my creativeness, my comedy. Sexism was everywhere as it was for all of us. It was at school when our sixth grade teacher blatantly stated that men are smarter than women, and the entire class of boys whooped and hollered leaving us girls completely enraged and helpless and humiliated. It was at the park with the building of the forts when the boys stole our tools, we retaliated, and then they sought revenge on our retaliation, and started our infamous war. The worst part about that, the topper on it all, was that the boys went and retold their story to another girl in the neighborhood, manipulated her into thinking they were the victims, and got her to help ran sack our fort. All because they stole our tools to begin with, and we stood up for ourselves.

Or,
how about when I did something wrong, made a mistake, and it was instantly blamed on my gender instead of my humanness.

Here's an example I'd like to lead into and use: Years ago, I took my friend and her boyfriend to a tattoo and piercing parlor. I had just met the boyfriend, for one, and he had the audacity to ask to borrow money from me for the piercing (of his nipple...). For my friend's sake, I did. I lent it to him. But when we pulled into the parking lot, he was having second thoughts. So, being distracting from his concerns, I never put the car into Park. He finally made his decision to do it, so I turned off the car. I couldn't get the keys out of the ignition because it was still in Drive. None of us could figure out what was wrong (including him, mind you). When I finally figured out what the problem was, we all laughed about it until he had to ruin the moment with: "That's why women shouldn't drive." OH YEAH. HE DID. (And for those men who are reading this and are in denial, no he wasn't joking) I went into my usual rant, of course, told him what I thought of him, made a point or two about him being a coward about the piercing, and how any human being in the world could've made the same mistake I just made, and if he ever says something that sexist again it'll be the last thing that ever comes out of his mouth. He was scared of me from that point on, and for the three years she dated him, he never said anything sexist again.

And there it is. Who do I address? The men or the women? Strange things happen when we stick up for ourselves, Ladies. There's absolutely no reason at all that any of us should accept this sort of bullying just because "guys will be guys". "They only think with their penises, what else should we expect?" Um, we should expect a hell of lot more. But some situations are a little more subtle, and harder to address. There's plenty of nice guys out there who treat women with a decent amount of respect, but can't come to terms with the fact that being nice has nothing to do with sexism.

Stupid little things, right? What about all the really nice guys who couldn't find it in their egos to laugh at my jokes? What about how one my guy friends thought he was being chivalrous by letting me know he let me win a game of chess? What about when I was on the church softball team and I was out in the outfield, and a super easy-peasy grounder came rolling at me and as I swooped down to scoop it, my own team mate came running in front me and snatched it up? I gave him a look that could kill, but that was about all I could do… Or was it? Sure I made my friend's boyfriend want to wet himself, but that case was easy. The harder part is getting the less blatent stuff confronted.

Most of my life I’ve done nothing but grit my teeth and allow this fury to build up and flash out at the most inconvenient times. And then what? Well, that just makes us women look emotionally unstable, right? I must be on my period, right? No. NO. There’s more that can be done than just an angry look, or a clenched fist. I was given a gift of voice, of words, and a defiance to be told that I am less of anything. And any respectable man or woman who agrees with me, should follow my lead.

So. How do we, as a society, breed the non-sexist, respectable man? Women: you need to expect more, and not be afraid to demand it. Men: try not to be defensive when a woman speaks out agaist sexism or demands to be respected. Please, open your mind at least a little to the possibility that you just might, just maybe, truly see yourself as a higher being, and us as lessers. That's about all I can really say. It's up to a man to actually want to not be sexist, and so few do because it means they have to give up so many of their priveledges. So few do because women are often used as bonding tools between men, and the minute they have to regard a woman as a human being instead of "getting some tail", then they've lost the respect of their caveman buddies. If you need an incentive, men, try racing your fellow mankind out of the next stage of evolution. Because I truly believe that a non-sexist, respectable man is far more evolved than all the other men, and in turn is far more desirable. The trick is, to get women to stop settling for the cavemen. Men would be quicker to try harder if they knew they'd loose out on us. My mission may seem impossible, no doubt, but that's not going to stop me from trying.